Finding Stillness in the Lord

It was dark and cold, and I was annoyed. Furious actually. As I sat on the chair aligning the porch, I grew more frustrated as the minutes passed. I had locked myself outside of my house. I woke up at 3 am that morning to go to work, got off at 1 pm, went straight to campus for class, went to my iteam group for Bible study, then headed home around 10 pm. It had been a long day. I got home, took my backpack off, reached in the fridge to the grab the remains of a rotisserie chicken, took it outside for the dogs, and as soon as I shut the door behind me I knew I had locked myself out.

With no keys and a phone on 4%, I called my mother to bring me a spare key. Thankfully, she was able to bring me the key, but it would be another 45 minutes before she could get them there. With the remaining 4% of battery left on my phone, I snap chatted my sisters and expressed the annoyance that was overwhelming me. Not only was it 10:30 pm at this point, but I had to submit an assignment by midnight, needed to eat dinner (story of a college student’s life), and needed to get at least a few hours of sleep before waking back up at 3 am the next morning. The frustration continued to grow.

I sat in quiet on the chair thinking and overanalyzing all that I had to get done in such a short span of time that night. I proceeded to get frustrated that my mother was such a long drive away and at the fact that I had pulled such a thoughtless, stupid move. Then, I remembered! There should be a key out here somewhere! I looked where I used to keep a spare key under a heavy vase, and there it was! The key was there! I went to unlock the door, but it did not work. Ok, I thought. It goes to the back door, I simply forgot. I walked around back, but to no avail, the key didn’t work on that door either. Why did I have a spare key – to who knows what – outside? Annoyance at myself and the situation hit its climax.

As I walked off from the porch, I noticed the overabundance of stars in the sky that night. Certainly, I had never seen that many in my entire life. While I searched the sky for constellations, I found the little dipper, the big dipper, and Orion. Satellites and planes rushed across the horizon as if running late for an important errand. The sky was busy, but still all the same.

January 25, 2017

…as I walked off from the porch, I was in instant wonder of the stars that scattered the sky. It was as if they were splattered everywhere; much like paint being flung at a backdrop. I don’t believe I have ever seen that many stars were strewn across a foreign sky, let alone here above my own home. Though we live out a ways, city lights should have robbed more of the stars of their glory; so it would seem. As I watched the black and white canvas stir, I stood in awe as rushing planes, blinking satellites, and still stars shared the center stage of the night sky. I found the little dipper, the big dipper, and Orion and his belt. Now that I think of it, I can’t believe I took the time to find Orion. Haven’t done that in forever. As I kept watching in an odd, mutual state of amazement and confusion, a sense of peace blanketed be with calmness. All my frustration was gone. Nothing more, nothing less. Just gone. Out of nowhere. I instantly felt God closer than I had in a while. I physically felt Him. It clearly wasn’t my peace and calmness. It was His. It was like His arms were around me in a deep embrace; pointing His hand toward the sky to guide my attention. The inconvenience of locking myself amidst my busy schedule and frustrations suddenly made sense. For this, I’m thankful. I kept lurking at all that was taking place in the sky and quickly realized something else. I realized that the flashing satellites and hurried planes were moving in their normal fashions, along with the stars that remained still in their constant states. It was one of the most God-ordained moments I have ever witnessed. As the sky was calm with stars that stood still in motion, the busyness of planes and satellites was losing no time in swarming the sky. Everything took place in a simultaneous way that was clearly an intricate design of God. For the first time, I think I finally understand stillness in the Lord. I’ve finally experienced what it is to find peace, comfort, and calmness in the midst of constant hurry and the demands of life. I realized and understood that I didn’t need physical stillness to find and rest assurance in the Lord. I’m on His time, not my own. Praise the Lord for tonight!

As I stood in awe of the sky, the intricate designs of the constellations formed by the stars, and the bustling events still managing to take place in the background, it really hit me. It hit me that there were stillness and busyness intricately taking place simultaneously in a fully congruent manner. It hit me that God had formed and precisely formed my night in advanced, my frustration and bitterness anticipated too. It hit me that, as the bustling satellites and planes complimented the still stars hanging in their definitive states, my stillness in the Lord could be found in times of bustling activities. It all just hit me.

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